CHOICE&AMBITION

Hi, my name is Ruby, I am from Nassarawa state, the third child and third daughter of the family. I am 20years old, I school at the University of Abuja and I am currently studying microbiology for my first degree. I am a girl who expresses herself through writing and sometimes music when my writing fails me. People call me a loner, I say am introverted. Though when I get comfortable with you, I become free spirited, playful, generous and down to earth. One thing that defines me best is looking good. I always want to look good even when I'm sleeping, it’s just a knack am addicted to.

My life is basically that of a young Nigerian Muslim girl, who by every standard should learn how to cook, wash, take care of my husband, become a birth machine and live my life for my parents. This is very common in the northern part of Nigeria.

But when I got into the university, my life changed drastically and am here stuck in life dilemma and predicament, I have no solution but sharing this problem to the world might help out for a solution

I met Yusuf in my first year, second semester. Yusuf is gentle yet stubborn, caring at heart, selfless but ambitious and handsome. The first time he approached me, he looked like my knight in shining armor, he was tall, pleasant at sight and confident looking. He took me off my guard, blew me away with his sense of humor, his sentence sentenced me to a love jail with him, I instantly fell into the well of admiration for him. Yusuf and I became closer, bound and love was inevitable, I fell in love with him and everything seemed beautiful, and the only thing that could stop us from marriage was death.

Fast forward to my year 2, I found a new love, I had passion for womanhood, I wanted to fight a course for women in the northern part of Nigeria to have a say and be independent. After witnessing the death of a very dear friend of mine due to her being married off at a very young age and she had no say; I wanted to be a voice for women like me, it seemed like a calling for me, so I started fighting the course for womanhood, and I was becoming a well known feminist and it affected my choice and ambition.

My father is a dogmatic typical Muslim man, who doesn’t believe in feminism, to him it was a taboo, either I follow his rules or I follow my rules.

And here comes my religion, which believes a woman should be under a man, while the euphemism word is submissive, the Muslim husband takes the woman as a birth machine. But really my life is under my husband's control, if I get married.

Here comes the conflict, my ambition & choice, Yusuf wants me to be a typical house wife; my father wants me to marry a Muslim man from my village; my religion wants me to live under my husband's iron hand. I want to be a feminist, I love Yusuf and I wish to spend the rest of my life with him, but it’s going to affect the marriage as a feminist. Do I follow my ambition or choose to be with Yusuf? Follow my father’s rule or mine?